Since the Skip the Small Talk: Trust event I wrote about previously, the ethics of trust has been playing on my mind considerably. A new entrant to the study of philosophy, the application to our morality is a constant analysis which has become a fascination.
The night of the talk, a group of us left to visit some of the local bars. Myself and a female Kiwi I had only just met were the only ones who were staying at the hostel, it was both of our first nights. She had arrived that evening, where I had already explored for the day so felt a little more at ease with the area. She joked when we were in the bar that she was relying on me to get home because I knew where I was going. I asked her what gave her that impression, she had no idea it was my first day also. You seemed confident in where we were going, she didn’t think twice about it. We were the same age, I invited her, and my fast paced walking mixed with girl guide orientation skills had given her a sense of trust in a stranger. When we left, we were both tipsy, she looped her arm in mine and jokingly beckoned for me to lead the way. She’s a smart girl and frequent traveler, yet in this instance there had been something in her which decided to bestow this trust in me. To navigate her home in a curious Eastern European country while intoxicated in the early hours. We became solid friends in the next few days and had a wonderful time, yet neither of us knew it then. Perhaps it was her gut instinct of character, but it can’t help but make you think- what makes you trust someone so quickly?
I was drawing last Sunday evening when a friend messaged. They came out. They were scared and hadn’t told anyone, they were consumed by the confusion and scared of their reliance on vices in times of uncertainty. On the train that evening a stranger asked me to look after their handbag and suitcase while they used the bathroom. On the way to work a man with a disability asked for aide across a road. A colleague shared exclusive information. In a coffee shop bathroom a man came out of the women’s cubicle after using it to vape, and the lady in the queue ahead of me grabbed my arm to ask if I could check the air inside the cubicle as she had severe asthma. On the walk home a drunk girl asked for help to get home as she was distressed and unable to think logically.
That was the trust bestowed to my persons in 24 hours.
Mary Anne Evans (pen, George Eliot) states:
Those who trust us educate us.
A poetic way to capture the endearing nature of someone who trusts quickly. Those trust based interactions offered more of an authentic human interaction and soulful experience than petty and forgettable conversations. It says more of a person should they issue trust to such a stranger, it offers both vulnerability and strength of their character. Being someone with ‘trust issues’ has become so confused with a heavy density of emotional turmoil, almost to a degree of narcissism. We can’t live happy, fulfilled lives if we consistently challenge the truth behind trust in every person’s we may be connected with.
Think about it.